Bank holidays should be banned

Yeah, take no pity on them bank workers; they ruin our lives by taking holidays. Just kidding, I´m a nice person. But this week bank holidays have just proven to be intolerable. I finally managed to go to the gym, the library and the apple store (though it turns out I had to make an appointment for customer services so my mac is doomed) today. Eventful, eventful.

So to kick the cherry off the top of my otherwise quite tolerable day, I have just read Kati´s blog post and it has truly put me to shame. Her blog is turning into a semi-journalistic blog site whereas mine is just my usual ramblings that mean absolutely nothing at all. Well, I guess that´s the difference between a true journalist and an ordinary girl who just passed GCSE English with an A. Maybe I should spice this place up with some reviews of my attempts to culture myself. Someday, someday. Maybe after I successfully finish reading the 5 books I loaned today from the library. That´ll show her.

And to anyone who read´s Kati´s blog, she never made it to Regent´s Street with me because I took pity on her reluctance in going and her tight budget. However, as I have mentioned I did in fact make it to Regent´s Street on my own, after the gym, with no makeup on, greasy hair and baggy clothes. I looked like an angry lesbian from the countryside, obviously out of place in such a chic city like London. Oh well, it´s not like I had anyone to impress. Unless I was hoping the newspaper stand guy would hit on me or something. How about, no.

Lucky Seven

It’s now 11:10pm of my very uneventful day, and my uneventful day stays, well, uneventful. Like I previously stated I have accomplished jackshit and the only one thing I can boast about today is that I managed to take a normal shower! It felt orgasmic.

Actually today probably marks the milestone of Carrolynne’s most-blogs-posted-in-a-day-day! This is my seventh, mind you. Even though half of the blogs I’ve posted aren’t really worth much effort.

However! At this late hour, with some surprising turn of events, it seems that my uneventful day just might be saved after all! One thing that may be not so ordinary about me is that I have way too many Portuguese friends. I don’t know how and I don’t know where they come from (well, Portugal) but these little motherfuckers just creep up on you. But anyhoo, there are about seven newcomers and they’re having a massive Portuguese party in our dining room. Knowing me, I always make stunning first impressions. They managed to walk in on me as I just exited my orgasmic shower in a towel. Woohoohoo. Another few points to up my rep! Anything for the rep, guys.

So after I have DRESSED myself, I decided to be polite and reintroduce myself. I have just gone through a life changing experience—being cheek-kissed (the greeting type) 7 times in a day, and it’s both cheeks, mind you. It was fun I guess, very bouncy. I like cheeks, cheeks are nice. If I could, I would probably choose cheek stroking over sex.

Dedicated to Kati

that's what Reynan thinks about you!

You Can Probably Knit if You Tried Knitting Rather Than Complimenting Me For Being Able to Knit

Yet again the words of wisdom from Natalie Dee have inspired me. I'm going to find something productive to do now, like...picking my nose.

Eventful Uneventful Events

Pedro just splashed a splodge of excitement on my uneventful day! He just returned from Wetherspoon’s after having an amazing English breakfast that I solely regret missing out on, and he told me a story about a randomer who joined in on their conversation about phone batteries. This seemingly insignificant story in fact is quite inspiring! Why is it, that randomers have the power that can inflict such an impact on us? If they are truly just insignificant randomers whose existence are so insignificantly random surely they aren’t worthy of a mention? But contrary to that we seem to always find stories about randomers intruding on your life so significant that it’s worthy of being mentioned as a ‘special happening’ in your uneventful day! Where is the logic in that?!

Yeah, I try too hard.

I’m just in denial and can’t cope with the fact that, right now, my day is as uneventful as ever. I have accomplished jackshit. I think I may consider leading a new life as a lemon.

Period Cramps are a Bitch

well said.

Natalie Dee is the epitome of my life

A start of a brand new week, another exciting Monday afternoon, and I’ve accumulated to nothing but sitting in Pedro’s room reading some more Natalie Dee Comics. So far the only thing I can moan about is not having toothpaste at the ready for me in the morning because previously I lent it to a friend who forgot I had to brush my teeth in the morning and locked his door at night, causing me a moment of frustration till my trusty neighbour donated some toothpaste to me. One of the most uncomfortable things is life is to wake up and feel like your mouth is contaminated with a mound of filth. The second is probably the horror of having to take a second cold shower because somehow that problem still hasn’t been fixed. These are times when I’d wish we lived back in the older ages where even the Queen only takes 2 baths a year. In others, she just wipes herself. Excuse me if I’m wrong, since I only learnt this last night when RJ pointed that out to me in response to my cool interpretation of stone people showering.I wonder if stone people had bad breath. They must’ve, right? With all the (probably raw) meat they eat and obvious lack of toothpaste.

I wonder what will become of me this afternoon when everyone’s off to Wetherspoon’s to enjoy their English Breakfast. Maybe I’ll sit in a corner and collect dust. That’s probably the most useful thing I can do when I have no internet. Oh Mac, why must you be dead? Oh Jesus, why did you die? Damn it, if Jesus didn’t die this week we wouldn’t have all these bank holidays which is probably the cause of all my angst. Now I can’t get my mac fixed, I can’t go to the library, AND I can’t go to the gym. I’m internet-less, dumb AND fat.
Could things get any worse?

I beg to differ.

Hey Kati, Present for You!

exactly how I feel about you.

Bears can smell your menstruation

HELLO CHILDREN. Welcome to Carrolynne’s blog of mindless ramblings. I’ve finally decided to start a blog as it seemed to have become a fad within my (not so big) social circle. So to fit in with everyone, this is what it has come to, even though realistically this blog would probably only have a life span of…I’ll bet on a week, probably. 50 bucks say I won’t make it past this month:)

I’m not so sure if anyone’s actually interested in reading my life story, or to delve deep into the oh so complex mind of the mighty Carrolynne, so I’ll spare you all the crap and maybe I’ll discuss some very important issues, like the lack of hot water in residence halls. I don’t believe in karma, but every time someone draws out the cocky side of me, I get some sort of payback eventually. Like today when I laughed because Kati told me both she and Reynan ventured to at least 3 floors in search of hot water when they were desperate for a shower, and I told her how glad I was that I didn’t decide to take a shower in the morning. Then after a while I decided to take a shower before we left to ‘celebrate’ Easter at Nandos, and it turns out that there still wasn’t any hot water. I ended up taking a cold shower like everyone else. Just peachy.

Then again on second thought, why do we resent cold water so much? Surely during the stone ages people couldn’t just find warm water in the springs or lakes. How did they cope with cold showers every day? Or do they simply not shower? I don’t want to go into a one hour rant but nowadays because everything is so convenient that people are pampered to the point where we just complain about the most trivial things, like not having someone wipe our asses for us or that the toilet doesn’t flush itself. Maybe that’s why people don’t flush the toilets in Furzedown (the halls we live in), simply because they’re so rich and stuck up their asses that they don’t believe in manually flushed toilets; and they don’t feel the need to keep the toilets clean because a cleaner would just wipe the pee they leaked onto the seats off for them.

I think I’ve decided that I have to go on a quest to reshape my personality, and somehow try and get rid of my commercial consumerism tendencies. It’s unhealthy and I waste money unnecessarily. Though I guess some consumerist products aren’t necessarily bad, like menstrual pads. Which leads me to my second question—what did they do back in the stone ages when the stone women had periods? Do they just bleed on each other? Don’t the bears smell their menstruation? Maybe that’s why women are always portrayed as destructive mechanisms, because they bring about chaos and destruction on their stone-villages because they bleed from their vaginas every month.

Blood is not cool guys.

I hope you’re all impressed by my first post, it was meant to make some impact on first readers.

Alliteration of the day: Kati shits rainbows (I know, it’s not alliteration, but it’s funny)

LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

bye.